War Powers? In This Town, Even Your Toaster Needs a Coalition Agreement
After the US Senate refused to limit Trump’s ability to escalate with Venezuela, Berliners celebrated the only foreign policy they understand: complaining loudly and achieving nothing on schedule.
Geopolitics & Hangover Correspondent
The US Senate just rejected a resolution that would’ve limited presidential war powers against Venezuela, which is a very American way of saying, “We’ve tried nothing and we’re all out of constitutional restraint.” Trump, reportedly thrilled, continues enjoying the sacred US tradition of treating “checks and balances” like optional toppings.
Meanwhile in Berlin, the news landed like a wet cigarette on a secondhand sofa: not shocking, not surprising, and somehow still ruining everyone’s mood.
Washington says “no limits.” Berlin hears “perfect, we can do the same—without the planes.”
Berliners love two things: 1) lecturing other countries about democracy, and 2) being unable to run a public office printer without forming a task force.
So when Americans decided the president should keep a nice, flexible war menu, Berlin immediately recognized the vibe: executive power with zero adult supervision. It’s basically how every Hausverwaltung operates—except with more drones and fewer passive-aggressive hallway notices about “proper trash separation.”
The Senate’s decision, translated into Berlin terms
In the US: “The president may continue to act militarily without Congress stopping him.”
In Berlin: “Your landlord may continue to renovate your building into a lifestyle concept without you stopping him.”
In the US: “War powers.”
In Berlin: “Queue powers.” One man at the front of the line decides who gets in, why, and whether your shoes are geopolitically stable enough for entry.
Wedding’s new foreign policy: performative neutrality with a side of moral superiority
Within minutes of the headline, Wedding’s international community sprang into action:
- A pop-up “Venezuela Listening Circle” formed in a café that used to be a bakery but is now an “anti-colonial espresso lab.” Attendance: 14 people, 11 of whom were there to network.
- Three DJs announced a fundraiser night called “Checks & Balances (All Night Long)” and immediately began arguing over who gets top billing for “decolonizing the kick drum.”
- Someone made an infographic explaining the US Constitution using the Berlin U-Bahn map, which is fitting because both are confusing, old, and full of unexpected delays.
The real Berlin connection: power without accountability is our local cuisine
Americans are debating who gets to authorize military action. Berliners are watching and thinking: wow, must be nice to have a debate that ends with a decision.
Here, we can’t even limit the power of:
- The guy on your building’s WhatsApp group who “just has questions” and somehow becomes dictator by Tuesday.
- The bar that quietly switches from cash-only to “card-only, but only Visa, and only if the moon is in retrograde.”
- The Bürgeramt appointment system, which does not need war powers because it already has the ability to destroy nations—starting with your sense of self.
A brief message to Americans from Berlin: we believe in democracy, just not in results
To be clear, Berlin supports democratic oversight in theory. We love it. We’d marry it. We’d open a concept store with it.
But we also know what happens when you try to “restrain” power: you get a committee, a subcommittee, a working group, and a pilot program in Neukölln that costs €3.7 million and produces a PDF nobody can open.
So yes, the US Senate rejected a war powers resolution and Trump “won.”
In Berlin, we call that a normal Tuesday: someone with too much authority gets their way, everyone else writes a furious post about it, and the only thing that actually changes is the price of beer.